


You're the Pun I Want

by Robin_tCJ



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dating, Emotions, Feelings, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Misunderstandings, Puns for titles, Silly, ambiguous fandom - Freeform, vague canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:06:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7836892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robin_tCJ/pseuds/Robin_tCJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is really excited to finally be dating Tony. The only way it could get better is if Tony were aware they were dating.</p><p>A series of small vignettes that are all part of the larger whole. (aka, short chapters, but it's on purpose)</p><p>Bingo Square prompt is ‘Didn’t know they were dating’.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Like You a Latte

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [You're the Pun I Want 双关只为你相伴](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9783200) by [missyeqingcheng](https://archiveofourown.org/users/missyeqingcheng/pseuds/missyeqingcheng)



> I did not invent the chapter title/header puns. I wish I was that good at punning. Those were pretty much all on the internet, uncredited and unsourced.
> 
> Thanks to [dapperanachronism](http://archiveofourown.org/users/dapperanachronism/pseuds/dapperanachronism) for the quick beta!

Steve can’t believe it was this easy. He would have asked  _ weeks _ ago, if he’d known it would be this easy. 

“Hey, Tony, would you like to go for a coffee with me?”

“Sure, Cap.” 

Just like that. Just like that, and Steve was walking into The Grind, the nice little independent coffee shop a couple blocks away from the tower, to meet Tony for their date.

A real date.

Steve orders and finds a booth, sliding in to wait. He sits facing the door so he’ll see the moment Tony walks in.

When Tony does arrive  – only five minutes late, which Steve thinks is impressive and maybe, he hopes, a show of how excited Tony is for the date as well – Steve waves him over.

“Hey, Cap,” Tony says, sliding into the booth beside him. Steve’s actually gotten a carafe from the barista at the front – he generally prefers lattes, but he knows Tony likes his caffeine simple and in large quantities. Tony drinks his coffee black, so Steve just pours him a cup and slides it in front of him, before doctoring his own cup with a lot of cream and a little sugar.

“How’s your day going?” Steve asks, trying to keep his voice level. He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous, as though he’s never talked to Tony before. They’ve been friends a long time. They’ve saved the world together on multiple occasions. Small talk on a coffee date should be a breeze.

On the other hand, he really doesn’t want to mess this up.

“Not bad. I finished the new Widow Sting prototypes, and the boomerang arrows I was doing up for Barton. What’s the scuttle butt from SHIELD?”

“Oh, the usual. Lots of threats, but nothing they can pin down enough to send us after.”

“Well, say the word. I’ve got a couple new features on the suit I’m ready to try out in the field.”

“That’s great, Tony.”

Tony blinks at him, and gives his head a little shake before continuing the conversation. 

As Tony finishes his fourth, and what he says must be his last, cup of coffee, Steve begins to realize their entire conversation has been about Avengers business. He hadn’t meant for that to happen. He’d fully intended this date to be about them – not the Avengers. But, of course, he’d gotten nervous,  and fallen back to comfortable habits. Tony stands and claps Steve on the shoulder, saying he needs to get back to work, but he’ll see Steve back at the tower later. He walks out the door with a wave, and Steve slumps back in his seat. It had been a nice date, if a little work-heavy. But Tony had seemed to have a nice time, so Steve’s going to call it a win.

He swallows the last of his own cup, a little cooler than he’d like, and takes the dirty mugs and empty carafe up to the counter before he leaves and heads back to the tower.


	2. You’re the Obi-Wan for Me

Steve gives Tony a grin as he sits down, close enough that the popcorn bowl has to sit a little on Tony’s lap, and a little on his own. Tony gives him a bit of a puzzled look, then shrugs a little and leans back against the sofa, reaching for a handful of popcorn.

“Comfortable?” Steve asks, leaning back and giving Tony a shy smile.

“Sure! So, what’re we watching?”

“I picked one of your favourites,” Steve says, picking up the remote and clicking the ‘play’ button. As the yellow text scrolls up the screen, Tony turns to him with a wide grin.

“Star Wars! Excellent. I haven’t watched it from the beginning in years.”

Steve grins, and wonders if Tony would mind if he stretches his arm across the back of the couch, maybe even all the way around Tony’s shoulders.

“Shit, are you guys watching Star Wars?” Clint says, appearing from nowhere and leaning on the back of the couch. Steve glares up at him, but Clint doesn’t notice, flipping over the back of the sofa to sit on Tony’s other side, reaching across and into the popcorn bowl.

Steve feels his neck tense up. He’s not sure how to ask Clint to leave without seeming rude, but this is supposed to be his and Tony’s movie date. He kind of hopes Tony will ask him to leave, because if anyone can say what he’s thinking without worrying about the consequences, it’s Tony. He’s blunt, and brash, and that’s one of the things Steve likes so much about him.

But Tony remains silent, watching the screen, so Steve sighs and eats a piece of popcorn.

It’s only a few minutes later that Bruce comes in, with a simple “Hey, guys.” He curls up on an armchair and pulls a little throw blanket over his lap, settling in to watch as well.

Steve sighs again. There’s not much he can do. Next time he decides to ask Tony for a movie date, he’ll just take Tony out of the tower. It’ll be much easier to be alone that way.


	3. I’m Just Nuts About You

As Steve looks around at his kitchen in dismay, he wonders if maybe he should have taken Tony to a restaurant. The place is a mess. There are dirty dishes everywhere and bits and pieces of chopped vegetables that didn’t make it into the wok are strewn across the counters.

Steve glances at the clock and cringes. He’s only got a few minutes to clean up before Tony’s supposed to arrive. 

He really should have taken Tony out. But he knows Tony eats out a lot – it’s not very often he gets a home cooked meal. Besides, he’d checked the internet for romantic date ideas and articles he’d found had said cooking and having dinner at home would be more intimate.

Plus, it would show Tony just how much Steve wants to impress him. Sure, one of the things he likes best about Tony is that he doesn’t  _ have _ to impress him. But still – Steve wants to try.

He gets to work filling the dishwasher and wiping down the counters. He hustles, using his enhanced speed to get the job done faster, until the kitchen is spotless – just in time, because there’s a light tapping on the door to his suite.

He rushes to the door, smiling wide as he swings it open. He’s about to lean in, maybe reach for Tony’s hand to bring him inside, but Tony’s hands are in his suit pockets, so Steve just leans back and gestures for Tony to come inside.

Tony looks a little tired. Steve wonders if it would be too forward to maybe offer him a massage after dinner. He’d love to get his hands on Tony, but really, this is only their third date, and the second one had been more of a group thing, thanks to Clint and Bruce joining them for the movie.

Steve decides he’ll wait until after they’ve eaten, and if things are going well, maybe he’ll offer a massage.

“How was your day, Tony?” He asks, leading Tony into the kitchen. He hadn’t set out candles or anything; after going back and forth on it, he had decided in the long run that Tony didn’t need candles, or any other cheesy romance stuff. As much as Steve is happy to give it to him, he knows Tony isn’t really the type.

Except… should he have lit candles? Maybe Tony  _ would _ have liked them. It could set the mood.

Tony looks around the kitchen, at the table which – even though it doesn’t have candles – is set formally, with cloth napkins and Steve’s nice plates. There’s a bottle of wine breathing on the table, and Steve reaches for it, as well as a glass. 

Tony looks like he’s trying to decide what to say. Steve understands why he might be feeling nervous – he’s feeling a little nervous himself, actually. They’re alone, and Tony, despite looking tired, also looks really handsome. Steve pours the red wine into the glass in his hand, and holds it out for Tony.

“Wine?” he asks. He manages to keep his voice from betraying his nerves.

“Uh… sure,” Tony says, narrowing his eyes.

“I made stir fry,” Steve says, moving to the stove. He dishes up two plates, and places them on the table. He pulls out a chair and gestures for Tony to sit down. After a dubious glance, Tony does, taking a long swallow from his wine.

Steve sits and, with a smile, digs into his stir fry.

“That’s… look, Cap, is this about that thing with the Doom-bots? I know it was a risk, okay? But it was also necessary – it would have taken too long to explain for someone else to do it, it had to be me. And I’m fine, all right? I didn’t get hurt. It’s just some bruising in my ribs, it’ll be healed by the weekend.”

“No, Tony, I wasn’t –”

“I’m not apologizing, Steve, it was a good call.”

“I didn’t – I’m not mad, Tony. I was worried about you, but I know you’re okay, and it was a risky play but it worked. It was a good move. You did well.”

“Then – then what are we doing here?”

“What do you mean?”

“I just – I thought you wanted to yell at me. I mean, you’ve never had me over before.”

“What? God, Tony, no. I just – I just thought it would be nice. If it was just us, for once.”

Tony blinks at him a little, then slowly lifts a forkful of stir fry to his lips, chewing it slowly and swallowing it without a word.

He puts his fork down, deliberately, and meets Steve’s eye.

“Look, Steve,” he says. He doesn’t finish the thought, though. His eyes get wide, and he looks down at his plate, then back up at Steve. “Um… are there cashews in this?” he asks, blinking rapidly and darting his tongue out to lick his lips.

Steve beams proudly. He’d tried a new recipe, and he’d hoped the cashews would be a nice addition to the meal.

“Yeah, actually, and cashew paste –”

“I am, just, super allergic to cashews,” Tony says, licking his lips again.

“Oh,” Steve says, voice small. “Oh, wow. Um… how allergic?”

“We need to find Bruce and an epi-pen, like, right now,” Tony says, standing up from the table quickly. “I already can’t feel my lips.”

Without another word, Steve picks Tony up in his arms, carrying him bridal style to the elevator. As it rushes up to Bruce’s lab, where JARVIS says he is currently working, Steve fires off rapid fire apologies. By the time the elevator gets to Bruce’s floor, Tony’s face is swelling, and every breath is a wheeze.

“He’s having an allergic reaction,” Steve says quickly, bringing Tony over to a table near Bruce.

Bruce slams open a drawer and roots around for an epi-pen, pulling it out and and jabbing Tony in the thigh with it. Steve can only stand back and watch, worried.

After a few minutes, Tony’s breaths get clearer and easier, and he flicks swollen eyes up at Steve.

“I’m okay, Cap,” he says, voice low and raspy. “But maybe a rain check on the stir fry?”


	4. Would you like to know what’s on the Menu? Me-N-U.

Okay, Steve knows he can’t screw this one up. He’d been avoiding taking Tony to a restaurant because it seemed so impersonal, but even Steve knows how to admit he’s beat. He’s sitting at a candle-lit table in a trendy French restaurant, wearing a tie and waiting for Tony to walk through the door. He’d sent Tony an email this morning – ‘Sorry about the cashews. Let me make it up to you with dinner at Bistro at 8.’

He bounces his knee nervously, fidgeting with his water glass. He tries not to glance at the clock.

The waiter brings the water jug and refills his glass for the third time, giving him a sympathetic look. Steve just smiles uncomfortably – Tony had probably gotten caught up in his work, and wasn’t paying attention to the clock. 

Unless, of course, Tony was actually really upset with Steve about the cashew thing. It’s not like he’d  _ known _ Tony was deathly allergic to them. But maybe that’s the problem – maybe Tony is upset that Steve hadn’t already known that about him?

God. Dating is hard.

Steve is almost ready to admit that Tony isn’t coming when Tony walks in the door, glancing around the room. He finds Steve easily and Steve gives him an anxious smile.

“You came,” Steve says, trying not to sound too grateful. He stands to greet Tony.

Tony drops down into the seat across from him, crossing his arms and looking up at Steve.

Steve sits, and clears his throat.

“Look, Tony, I’m really sorry about the cashew thing,” he says. “I had no idea you were allergic. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Tony blinks. “Seriously? You think I’m mad about that?”

“Well, I mean…”

Tony scoffs. “Really, Cap. It was an honest mistake. Don’t worry about it.”

“Yeah? You’re sure you don’t mind?”

Tony looks puzzled. “Yeah. It’s fine. So. What did you want to talk about? Are we upping the training schedule? Wanna brainstorm some new equipment ideas?”

“What?” Steve asks, stomach sinking. Tony wants to talk about work again, and that can only mean one thing – he is actually upset about the cashews. 

Steve decides there’s only one way to make sure Tony knows how sorry he is, and how much he cares. He reaches across the table and squeezes Tony’s hand – the one that had been nervously fiddling with his butter knife. He rubs his thumb along the side of Tony’s thumb, up to his wrist, across warm skin to his pulse point, and gives Tony as open a look as he can manage.

“Uh…” Tony says.

“We don’t need to talk about work,” Steve says, smiling. “We can talk about anything.”

“Uh…” Tony repeats.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh… what… what are you doing?”

“I was – oh, sorry,” Steve says, snatching his hand back and blushing. “Is it because we’re in public? I didn’t mean to – I mean, I just thought, you know, we’ve been dating for a couple of weeks and – but if you want to wait, we can do that.” Steve wishes the earth would swallow him whole and shut him up.

“I – I’m sorry, we’re what now?”

“Um… dating?”

“Since when?”

“I – since we went for coffee? That was – wait, what do you mean?”

“We’re not dating! I would know if we were dating, Steven!” Tony hisses, eyes wide. 

“But I’ve been taking you on dates, Tony. That’s dating!” Steve is sure the earth is going to open up any minute now. It has to. There is no coming back from this level of embarrassment.

Tony didn’t know they were dating? Steve’s been – God, that makes a lot of sense, actually.

“I – and the stir fry?”

“I was trying to – it was supposed to be intimate and romantic. I didn’t mean to nearly kill you.”

“So all this time, these have been dates?”

Steve rubs a hand over his eyes, hoping for an alien invasion, at the very least, if the earth is refusing to swallow him down. “I thought so,” he says, trying not to let his misery bleed through in his tone.

Tony stares at him for a few minutes.

“So… you like me?”

Steve expects, when he looks up, for Tony to be wearing his trademarked shit-eating grin, maybe even laughing a little. He steels himself and looks up, and is surprised by the open, contemplative expression there.

“Yeah, Tony. I like you.” He chuckles a little, ruefully. “I like you a lot, actually.”

“Wow,” Tony breathes, sitting back in his chair. “I didn’t – I never thought.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, standing up. “For the misunderstanding. Really. I should go.”

“Wait, Steve,” Tony starts, but Steve raises a hand to stop him. 

“No, Tony, it’s fine. I should have – it’s my fault. I’ll go. I am sorry.”

Steve walks through the restaurant and out the door, managing to keep his head held high all the way to the tower.


	5. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I’m afraid of your reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Interlude

Tony cannot handle this. He’s sitting at a table in a French restaurant by himself. There’s a little basket of rolls in front of him, and a full glass of water, and what the hell? Since when have he and Steve been  _ dating _ ?

He pulls out his phone and hits number three on the favourites list (JARVIS is number one, Pepper is number two, and Steve is number four. He feels like maybe that should tell him something but he shoves it away.) and brings the phone up to his ear. It rings a couple of times before it’s picked up.

“I’m sorry, am I getting an actual phone call, not a vague text message, from the real Tony Stark?” Rhodey says, tone light, when he connects the call. Tony rolls his eyes.

“Rhodey, I do not have time for the lonely housewife act, I need your help.”

“So that’s why I’m suddenly worth your time.”

“Rhodey, I will take away your suit, I swear to God.”

“You can try.”

“Steve has been dating me for two weeks.”

“Um.”

“I know. What do I do?”

“I don’t know what you’re asking me here,” Rhodey says, and Tony can hear shuffling in the background, as though Rhodey’s getting comfortable. Good, that means he’s listening.

“Catch up, Rhodes. Steve has been dating me for two weeks, and he’s just figured out I had no idea he was dating me –”

“Wait, he  _ what _ ?”

“– and he left, and I think he’s upset but I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Hold up, Tony. I need you to tell me, in clear and unmistakable language, what the hell you’re talking about right now.”

Tony sighs and tells Rhodey the whole story – at least as far as he knows it. How Steve had asked him for coffee, and Tony had gone thinking they were having a team leader meeting. How they’d watched Star Wars. How Steve had made him dinner and nearly killed him with a cashew.

Tony’s still talking when he hears a strangled sound coming from the speaker of his phone. He narrows his eyes and pauses.

There it is again. A snicker. A goddamn snicker.

“Are you seriously laughing at my pain right now?”

“Oh, I really am,” Rhodey says, voice tight with laughter. 

“How are we even friends?”

Rhodey laughs for another minute, while Tony gripes about being at the top and what that means for the quality of friends one has, until Rhodey takes a deep, cleansing breath.

“So, let me see if I’ve got this straight, Tony. Steve has asked you out on four separate dates – all clearly date activities, by the way – and you have remained completely oblivious the whole time?”

“That is not – okay, that is true, yes.”

“And now, Steve knows how oblivious you are, and left you sitting alone in a restaurant on what was, to him, your fourth date?”

“That sounds bad.”

“It  _ is _ bad, Tony. I mean – do  _ you _ like  _ him _ ?”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with everything! Tony, either you have been leading him on, however inadvertently, for weeks, or you’ve possibly screwed up the beginning of what could be, for you, an incredible improvement on your typical relationships.”

“I didn’t  _ know _ .”

“Yeah, and now you  _ do. _ ” Rhodey sighs, and his voice gets gentle. “You need to decide, Tony. If you like him, you gotta let him know that. He put himself out there, and right now he’s gonna be hurting, so you gotta do something. If you don’t like him, if you just wanna be friends who Avenge, then you gotta let him know that, too.”

“Shit.”


	6. Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

Steve steps into the elevator and takes a deep breath. He just hopes Tony won’t be on the common floor. He’s only going to grab a couple of eggs (or eight) out of the fridge and then go back to his suite, so he can make an omelette. Tony is rarely in the communal area, so he thinks he’ll be safe.

He still feels like an idiot. How could he be so stupid? Tony is this larger-than-life, famous genius billionaire – why would he give someone like Steve the time of day? Maybe, if Tony only knew him as Captain America, it would be different, he could get a foot in the door. But Steve Rogers? There’s nothing special about Steve Rogers, and he knows it.

The elevator doors open, and Steve steps out, trying to rein in his misery, before he realizes he’s not on the communal floor at all. As a matter of fact, he’s on the roof.

“I had JARVIS override the elevator.”

Steve looks up, and there’s Tony, standing in front of him. He’s wearing a suit – more casual than Steve is used to seeing him, but still a nice suit. It’s light grey, with a deep red shirt and a blue-grey tie. Steve swallows, his cheeks going pink. He really doesn’t want to see Tony right now – he’s been embarrassed enough for one night.

“I gotta –” he starts, jerking a thumb toward the elevator and making to turn around.

“Wait,” Tony says, stepping forward. “Please, Steve.”

And how can Steve deny him? He sighs, and stands a little straighter. He can take his punishment like a man. He’s never backed down before, he’s sure as hell not going to start now.

“I know I was an idiot,” Tony starts. “I know I wasn’t fair to you. But I’m hoping you don’t mind giving me a chance. I ordered sushi because I know how much you like it. Will you have dinner with me?”

Steve blinks. He glances at Tony’s suit, and then at his own sweats and long-sleeved T-shirt.

“You look amazing,” Tony says, stepping forward. “Please stay.”

“Just to be clear –” Steve starts.

“This is a date,” Tony says, smiling a little nervously. Steve smiles back at him, even if it feels a little shaky. “This is definitely a date.”

“Yeah?”

“Technically, this is our fifth date.” Tony steps forward again, so he’s close enough Steve has to actually lower his chin a little to keep eye contact. “A couple of them were pretty short, but this would be the fifth one.”

“Is that so?” Steve murmurs.

“Yeah. And, can you believe, Tony Stark still hasn’t kissed you after five dates?”

Steve blinks, feeling his heart pound in his chest, and his stomach flutter. “Yeah?”

“I’m going to kiss you,” Tony says, stepping forward again, until Steve can feel Tony’s breath on his face.

“Okay,” Steve whispers, and then Tony’s lips are on his, soft, gentle, slick and warm.

It stays fairly chaste – Tony flicks his tongue out to run along Steve’s bottom lip, but he doesn’t seek entry. Regardless, by the end of it, by the time Tony steps back, Steve’s hands are trembling and his breath is short.

“So,” Tony says, after a moment. His voice is a little tight, like the kiss has maybe affected him as much as it’s affected Steve. “Dinner?”

“I’d like that,” Steve says, reaching out to twine his fingers with Tony’s. Tony’s palm is warm and dry against his. “I’d like that a lot.”


	7. What do you call Iron Man without his suit? Stark naked!

Steve wakes up slowly, which is unusual for him. It’s also, for the record, unusual for him to wake up with so much weight on top of him.

A slow smile spreads across his face as he remembers what that weight is.

He presses a kiss into Tony’s rumpled hair, grinning at the sleepy whine that vibrates against his chest. 

“It is too early to be pleasant to you, why are you awake?”

Steve kisses his hair again, stretching a little. “Hey, sweetheart. Did you sleep okay?”

“I have not  _ finished _ sleeping,” Tony says, head popping up nonetheless. He levels Steve with a glare. “God, how can you be so handsome in the morning? That’s not fair.”

Steve grins and presses a kiss to the tip of Tony’s nose. Tony scrunches his face and rolls away. 

Steve lets out a chuckle. “Come on, Tony. I’ll make you breakfast.”

“Waffles?” Tony asks, narrowing his eyes at Steve shrewdly. 

“Absolutely,” Steve grins, rolling off the bed. He doesn’t try to cover his nakedness – Tony had certainly seemed to appreciate it the night before.

“Oh, hey, super soldier butt. Come back!”

Steve laughs as Tony hops out of the bed and chases him toward the kitchen, just as naked.


End file.
